And Then I Had Kids by Susan Alexander Yates

Author:Susan Alexander Yates
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: ebook, book
Publisher: Baker Publishing Group
Published: 2009-12-01T00:00:00+00:00

1. As we train our children, what character traits do we want to help them turn away from?

2. Which qualities do we desire for them to cultivate?

3. In what areas do we need to be more consistent in our training this week?

4. What specific strategy will I adopt to help me be more consistent?

Meditate on 2 Peter 1:1–11, making this a prayer for each child.

7

Creating a Loving

Atmosphere in the Home

Our car turned up the narrow driveway leading to a large old brick house. Johnny and I were eagerly anticipating our visit with Tucker and Ginny and their children. Two dogs greeted us with loud barks, and a cat darted across the path as we honked the horn to announce our arrival.

The front door of the house flew open and out rushed two little girls ages seven and five. Close behind were Ginny, carrying the baby, and Tucker, who hoisted a two-year-old on his shoulders. Huge grins and warm hugs made us feel welcomed as everyone began to talk at once.

Johnny and I were still newlyweds, having been married barely a year. We had begun to think about starting our own family, and a visit to Tucker and Ginny’s busy household was both encouraging and overwhelming. As I watched Ginny, I would marvel, “How in the world does she do it?” Their home radiated a sense of happy confusion. All eight of us gathered around the large old kitchen table topped with two huge homemade chicken pies. There seemed to be kids everywhere. With hearts full of thanksgiving we joined hands and prayed, thanking God for His many blessings and for the delicious food.

The dinner was punctuated with much humor. A two-year-old’s messy face and feeble attempts to get more in his mouth than on the table sent us all into fits of laughter. Throughout the meal the children joined in the conversations. There was a sense that whatever they said was important. Each member of the family was treated with honor. There was a genuine naturalness as the family members related to one another. This is what I want my family to be like, I thought, as I soaked up the loving atmosphere at the dinner table. There was something special here, something unique, and it felt good. I sensed love, acceptance, and joy.

I’d been to other homes where walking through the front door resembled entering a fog of depression. The mother was unhappy and one imagined that she felt resigned to an unpleasant task. The children turned deaf ears to her continual nagging. Their play was punctuated with phrases of “shut up” and “you’re stupid.” Mealtime was an ordeal to hurry through rather than a time of enjoyment. Rudeness was common and ignored. Sarcasm replaced laughter. The tired, battle-weary parents rarely smiled. Instead, it seemed their season of small children was a test of endurance. The atmosphere in their home made one feel sad.

Recognizing seasons is important, establishing priorities is essential, and acquiring realistic expectations is helpful. Yet the

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